Growing up I’ve always had people surrounded by me. I enjoyed being with good company all the time -- whether that was family, friends, or a significant other. I relied on other people’s energy to determine what “mood” I was in. I couldn’t help it (being extrovert and all) and wanting the desire to be in a social setting most of the time. I honestly like to get to know people and learn about their personalities.
I believe that everyone has a story, and I love listening to what chapter of their book they are willing to tell. Moving to New York has definitely taught me a new lesson. That lesson is to be comfortable with my own self and embrace the uncomfortableness. This is the first time in my life where I cannot just turn to a family member or friend that lives around the block just to start a conversation. I’m in a new chapter in my life where I’m in a city that I don’t have a ton of family and friends to hang out with. It’s a different change, but I do enjoy the lessons I am learning. This part of my journey on self-love is that it is okay to be alone. This is my time to really dive deep into what I want and what I don’t want in my life. Here are some guidelines that I’ve learned along the way that’s helped me be comfortable with myself: Meditating: This has helped me tremendously with stress and overthinking. It’s important to meditate especially if you deal with anxiety. Although my life has been great exploring New York City, it seems as though life is coming at me pretty quickly. It’s nice to pause once in a while and take a deep breath. Live in the present moment and just appreciate what life is giving us. Healthy habits: I’ve gotten the chance to start a routine out here. Even though gyms are open, I try to stay away due to COVID precautions. So, instead, I bike every morning to this beautiful park in Brooklyn which is right by the water, and do morning exercises to get my day started. I remind myself to drink as much water as possible as well (trying to get that clear skin)! Another thing that is important is to get enough rest. I’ve been able to get at least 6 - 8 hours of sleep every night and it makes the following day so much better. Prioritize your health!
Acceptance: One thing I complained about back at home was my physical body. I would mention that I was breaking out, my hair was thinning, and that I was gaining more weight compared to when I was in high school or college. But that is the past, and it’s all part of growing up. We tend to complain about our physical features and point out all our flaws. I have learned to embrace everything about me that makes me unique. Loving myself makes me feel so much better and it is one easy step of just appreciating everything that you are. You are an amazing human being and that every feature you have makes you special on this earth.
Also, not just physical features but your personality too. Accept not just how you look but how you act as a person as well -- whether that’s being artistic, goofy, quiet, and so much more! Don’t ever let anyone’s energy make you feel “little” or that you cannot be yourself around certain people. If people don’t like your personality, well it’s their loss! You have a great personality whether others like it or not and you should embrace that. Some might like dark humor, others might like an energetic person, but just remember not everyone will like you. Yet, it doesn’t matter what others think because all that matters is what you think about yourself and how great a person you are.
Saying yes or no: This is something I’ve read from a book here in New York. The importance of doing what makes YOU happy and saying “yes” to things you want and “no” to things you don’t want. Focus on things you like to do and you’ll start feeling more authenticity in your life. If someone asks for you to come hang out but you’re all bundled in your pajamas, eating ice cream and watching Netflix, then don’t force yourself out of bed if you don’t want to. Do what you want and say “yes” to things that you want to actually go to. Do you, my friend.
Protect Your Peace
No Social Media
Protecting your peace is very important and you owe it to yourself on being selfish for once. Remember to not compare yourself to others. With technology and social media, with have this image of people living “perfect lives” where in reality it may not look like that behind the screen. So don’t compare yourself to other people. It’s also important to lay off social media once in a while and just live in the present moment. I’ve learned that not checking my social media right when I wake up helps me start the day.
Take Yourself Out
Self-dates! Treat yourself because you deserve it. Show yourself a good time. Go shopping, eat out by yourself, have a picnic, go for a walk, watch a movie, or do whatever pleases you! The best thing about going on dates with yourself is that you pay for one, not two (save that $$$).
Last but not least just acknowledge what you’re grateful for in your life. Give yourself a break and take the time to just love everything that is going on. Life can be bad, I’m sure especially during these times. But there’s some good too, and you got to count those blessings once in a while. Spend time with yourself and do things that make you happy. Listen to your favorite music or take a solo trip somewhere. Just be grateful for whatever life throws at you because all this will just be a memory one day. You got to make the most out of everything in life.
Be comfortable with being alone. Learn about yourself and continue to love everything about you. I am still in the process of doing this but the first step is taking the action to do so. I hope we all learn to be comfortable with being alone with ourselves because, at the end of the day, we’re all that we got. Love yourself, and love others along the way.
I appreciate you for reading and hope you are doing well! May we all fall in love with the process of being comfortable with our own body, mind, and soul.
Another Lost Boy